Journaling....Personal Reflection
I am a huge ADVOCATE of journaling. It has many benefits like being a release or gratitude to name a few, but the best, most profound benefit (in my opinion) is personal reflection. I have been journaling in my adult life for as long as I can remember. I love it. I love writing. I embrace my old school roots by writing by hand although I still write electronically as well.
Picking a journal is of upmost importance when journaling. I remembered this red, white flowered pattern with a hardcover and regularly lined inside that I had from 2011-2012. I found this journal again last night. On the first page of this journal, I even singled out about how much I loved the feel of a new journal and was excited to read all the stories that the pages will hold of my life. A few more entries down, I even marveled at the fact that there was a secret ribbon hidden in the journal that I could use to mark my place. Yes, that’s my entry. (Side note: I cannot find its replica and my heart is on the hunt for this journal. If you see a similar journal like this, please send me a link through the contact page!)
As I read my words on the pages, I relived meeting some of my best friends at a job that sucked my soul dry, admired the use of my words to paint a picture of the moment with my dogs, and rebuilt myself in a new town. This particular journal (as such these particular years from my life) showed the struggles with my life (weight, exercising, career or lack thereof, infertility, marriage, etc.) and encompassed my disconnection with my mind, body, and spirit. I will write more about this in a future post. *Words of Wisdom: Listen to your body. It knows.* Rereading the pages, my heart broke for myself all over again. I was deep in the struggle. Dark struggle. Hitting Rock Bottom where I could not see the little scrap of light trying to shine on me.
BUT….I was also filled with gratitude. Gratitude to be out of the head space of being in a place where I did not know what I wanted out of life, where I was headed, whether or not my marriage would survive in the future (it didn’t), and health problems. Gratitude that I get to help others see and touch their personal reflection and growth, that I can trust my guidance and intuition, and to be in a head space where I am connected mind, body, and spirit.
I survived. I lived. I did it. I am doing it, day by day.
See…… The power of journaling!!!!!
*Below is an excerpt from my journal that I did based on a writing prompt. I tried taking a picture but since I wrote in pencil, it is not showing up. Thus, I retyped here. If you don’t know where to start on your journaling adventure, start here. With the phrases, I used to be a person who……, I am now a person….., I want to be a person who…. We also use this exercise in life coaching. Mine is listed from 2011 (The Dark Days) and I wrote the other today.*
08/23/2011
I used to be a person who….
Loved herself. Who embraced her quirks. Who radiated confidence. Who brought joy to people’s lives. Cared about reaching all dreams. Who was happy with being. Who enjoyed life fully. Gracious. Kind. Generous. Loved exploring, dreaming, and could plan her way out of anything. Didn’t stress about my body, hormones, or emotions. Embraced my being.
I am now a person….
That I don’t recognize. Who occasionally sees glimpses of who I was. Sad. Bitter. Teetering like a top and trying to balance. Who wants to touch others’ happiness since I can’t make it on my own. Worries about my physical health. Stresses about hair growth, periods, and lady bits. Lost. Finding no way fast. Negative. Joy is limited. Self-esteem low. Negative words to myself.
I want to be a person who…
Healthy. Confident. Driven. Happy. Working Lady Bits. Appreciative. Grateful. Found my way. Focused. Loving. Loved.
_________________________________________________________________________
Present Day:
05/13/15
I used to be a person who….
Struggled with finding my way. Who felt lost. Overweight. Unhappy. Searching for something, anything, and everything. A wife (a great wife) that could not figure how to make things work while now wearing a new identity hat that was hard to wear with the words divorced embroidered on it. Great friend. Could not plan a day ahead. Does not show this side to the world. It is hidden away by my smiles and laughing. Crier in my car.
I am now a person….
That embraces my being. Happy. A lover of life, love, my hoodrat pack, and exercising. At a healthy weight. Positive energy surrounds me. Full of gratitude. On a career path that I was destined to be on. Helping clients. Helping others. Surrounded by friends. Who is single and dating but longs for a joyous, intimate, loving relationship. Hopeful. Determined. Still a crier in my car (it’s a release!). World Traveler. Eyes wide open. Ready for all life has to bring. Healthy. Great friend. A writer. A life coach. A change agent. A dreamer again.
I want to be a person who…
I want to change this to…. I want to continue to be a person who embraces life and loves it. Who continues to value the good moments and sees the value in the struggles. A helper, life coach, and change agent. A lover. Continues to dream. Values my relationships. A great friend. Finds my beloved. Continues to exercise. Attracts more and more people that fill my heart with joy, life, and happiness and I give those same qualities to them. Becomes more confident in all of my abilities. Lifelong student of life. Learns how stocks work and invest. Volunteers with a group that touches my soul. Author.
